By MapMyFitness Brand Ambassador, Trent Gillaspie
Do you want a quick and fun way to measure your fitness level? Answer each question below, and keep a running tally of your points. At the end of the quiz, add them up to reveal how fit you truly are.
1. On average, how many days a week do you exercise? Does the answer rhyme with “heaven?”
- Yes (+5 points)
- No (-1 point)
2. Lay on your back to do a standard sit-up. Did you fall asleep?
- No (+5 points)
- Yes (-1 point)
3. Find your most recently used pair of exercise shoes. Count the total number of squares on the grid on the bottom of the shoe. Is that number more or less than the number of squares of waffle you have consumed in the last 48 hours?
- More (+5 points)
- Less (-5 points)
4. When was the last time you ran?
- I am running right now, reading this on my iPad (+5 points)
- About 2 hours ago (+3 points)
- Any time prior to 2 hours ago (-1 point)
5. What do you typically do at the gym?
- Well-rounded workouts, alternating upper body and lower body on different days of the week (+5 points)
- Walk around aimlessly, constantly drinking from the water fountain and using the hand sanitizer station, with my headphones blaring death metal (+3 points)
- Stare at members of the opposite sex while stroking my mustache (+1 point)
- Leave the gym (-1 point)
6. Look at the bottom of your feet right now. Are there battle wounds?
- Yes (+3 points)
- No (-1 point)
- I think so (+1 point)
7. How many running celebrities can you identify whose name rhymes with “Meve Grefontaine?”
- 1 (+3 points)
- More or less than one (-1 point)
8. What pop song best describes how you view your fitness level?
- “The Distance” (+5 points)
- “More Human than Human” (+3 points)
- “March of the Pigs” (-1 point)
- “Milkshake” (-2 points)
- “Baby Got Back” (-3 points)
9. What most closely aligns with the last dinner you ate?
- A hearty meal of steak and potatoes. I enjoy feeling like I have eaten a shot-put at all hours of the day (+3 points)
- Meat and greens. We have Geico Insurance, so I felt like I should start eating like a caveman too (+3 points)
- A healthy vegetable concoction. I am Vegan and Gluten-Free, which is super trendy right now, and you may have not heard of it yet. (+3 points)
- Fruity Pebbles and a Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco. I am a grown adult, and I can eat whatever the hell I want. (-3 points)
10. In the last race you ran, did you bring your own starting blocks to the start line with you?
- Yes (+3 points)
- No (-1 point)
11. If you had your own “E! True Hollywood Story,” what would it be called?
- “Running Marathons and Climbing Mountains” (+5 points)
- “Behind the Wheel of my $15,000 Bicycle” (+5 points)
- “I am Fat and I Hate Quizzes” (-3 points)
12. What is the last book you read?
- “Born to Run” by Christopher McDougall (+5 points)
- “Ultramarathon Man” by Dean Karnazes (+5 points)
- “The 4-Hour Body” by Tim Ferris (+5 points)
- “Southern Cooking Bible” by Paula Deen (-1 point)
- Any of the Twilight series books (-10 points)
Congratulations! Make sure you’ve tallied up your scores from above to find out how fit you are below.
Congratulations, Steve Prefontaine! Nice try, but iPads were not around when you were. You cheated the system and got an incredibly high score, so we will give you a gold star for fitness, but have to recall it because of your inevitable doping.
32 – 50
You are the fittest of the fit and the best of the best. If you could print a 3D trophy from your HP OfficeJet All-in-One, we’d give it to you. You have very low body fat, ride your bike to work from time to time, and wear Vibram Five Fingers like it is your job. In fact, you may actually work for Vibram. Go celebrate this W and bask in the glory of how fit you truly are. And, if you see Felix Baumgartner, slug him playfully on the shoulder, and tell him how much cooler you are than him.
16 – 32
If life were a high school track team, you would certainly be on varsity! But, you would be the struggling 100m runner who doesn’t really like sprinting and comes in near the back of the pack from time to time. You really just want to tell others you’re on the track team! You are on that team, and that’s what truly counts. Keep training and, in no time, you’ll be able to beat up that mean football quarterback that keeps stealing all of the good-looking cheerleaders without braces.
0 – 16
While you may not be as athletic as those scoring above you, you have unique tastes when it comes to fitness. You enjoy exercises like Sudoku and finger painting. A great way to increase your fitness level is to intensify those exercises and even try combining them. If you need help, simply Ask Jeeves. Other strategies may be to change your diet. If you are consuming calories throughout the day, that may be your problem. Ask your friends if they think you are weird or portly, and help get yourself on the right track to a more fit you in no time.
Less than 0
Don’t get down on yourself! Everyone is a winner here. Even you. Go ahead and celebrate by reading the 32 – 50 score above while you knock out a dozen Krispy Kremes.